Circlusion is a way of naming sexual intercourse from the body that surrounds and welcomes, rather than only from the one that penetrates. It is the same physical action told from another point of view: not only "I am penetrated," but also "I surround." The word invites us to think about the active role of the one who surrounds, without receiving penetration meaning being passive. At La Maleta Roja, we introduce it in the talks to open a conversation about language and pleasure.
Most of us grew up with a sexual vocabulary that puts the other person at the center: he does, she receives. We have used it for so many years that we no longer even question it, and almost no one has stopped to think that this word also influences how we see ourselves in the encounter.
Why language matters more than it seems
Words do not only describe what we experience: they can also influence how we interpret it. Expanding our vocabulary can help us express what we feel, what we desire, and how we want to participate.
The term is attributed to Bini Adamczak, who proposed it in 2016 to incorporate into sexual language the perspective of the one who surrounds or envelops. Circlusion does not have to replace the word penetration: it adds another point of view about the same encounter.
How it can change your view of the encounter
Thinking about circlusion does not require changing what you do. It can help you explore from where you experience it:
- Your body also participates in the action: you surround, decide, guide.
- You can recognize your role in pleasure, instead of seeing it only as something that comes from outside.
- It can open a conversation about how to share the pace and decisions.
- Your partner can also let go of the pressure to "do" or "achieve" something.
You do not need to adopt this word to live your sexuality actively. The important thing is that the encounter is desired and consensual, and that you can express your preferences and limits.
Practical tips
- Try it out loud, even if it is alone: "I surrounded it," "I guided the pace." At first it may sound strange; observe if it helps you express what you experience.
- If you feel like it, choose positions in which you can adjust the pace and depth, such as being on top or on your side.
- Talk about it with your partner: telling them the word can open conversations about what you like.
- Explore yourself alone, with or without an intimate accessory, at your own pace and without rushing, to discover what you like.
- Remove the goal: pleasure has nothing to do with doing more, but with feeling better.
If you want to keep exploring how you experience desire and how to talk about it with your partner, you can read our guide on spontaneous desire and responsive desire.
Among us
One of the topics we address a lot in the talks is the issue of language, and the important thing is to express the terms in such a way that they are based on a reflection that words matter, and a lot. Dildos, toys, gadgets, something really cool, something else really awesome… Everything influences the perception of our reality.
Thought leads to words, which lead to reality. Also in our sexuality, what surrounds it is important, what really enhances our being as the owner and captain of our body and reality.
Frequently asked questions
What does circlusion mean?
It is naming sexual intercourse from the body that surrounds and welcomes, rather than only from the one that penetrates.
Who proposed the word circlusion?
The term is attributed to Bini Adamczak, who proposed it in 2016.
What is the difference between penetration and circlusion?
They describe the same physical action from two points of view: penetration from the one who enters, circlusion from the one who surrounds. Neither word determines who decides or who enjoys more.
Is circlusion a new sexual practice?
No. It is a way of naming something that already existed; what it brings is another point of view.
Why does it matter how we name sex?
Because language can influence how we interpret the encounter and help us express our participation, our desires, and our limits.
Does circlusion only apply to heterosexual couples?
No. It can describe the action of one body surrounding another or an intimate accessory, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
How can I talk about circlusion with my partner?
Naturally and with curiosity: tell them the word, what it makes you feel, and what you would like to try. You do not need to identify with it to talk about your pleasure.
Taking the lead
If you need to reduce friction during the encounter, you can use a lubricant. Choose one compatible with the condoms and accessories you use and follow the instructions of each manufacturer.
