Libido in maturity does not usually disappear: it becomes irregular. From perimenopause onwards, the drop in estrogen and progesterone affects lubrication, sensitivity, rest, and energy, and all of that impacts desire, which comes and goes without warning. At La Maleta Roja, we hear it often in our talks, and almost always with the same concern: "Is something wrong with me?". The answer is no. It is a normal physiological process that can be supported, cared for, and improved.
We are not worse than before. We are in a different stage.
A generation that does not feel its age
Many women reach midlife active, taking care of themselves and feeling years younger than their ID card says. That is why it is so surprising that, at that very moment, desire begins to behave differently. There is a factor that is often forgotten because it is not seen, comes and goes, and is hard to name: hormones.
How hormones affect desire
In women, estrogen and progesterone begin to decrease gradually with perimenopause. Less estrogen means less lubrication, more sensitive or fragile tissues and, often, worse rest and less energy. If sex is uncomfortable and the body is tired, desire suffers.
In men, the process is slower, but testosterone also gradually decreases, which can result in less desire, fatigue, or erectile difficulties.
And there is something that is rarely explained: these changes do not only affect the body, but also mood. Desire lives in the balance between body and mind, and when that balance shifts, the ups and downs appear that cause so much confusion and can generate frustration, insecurity, or guilt.
Practical tips
- Start by removing the discomfort. If there is dryness or pain, a good lubricant and a vaginal moisturizer for regular use change things a lot. When the body stops feeling discomfort, desire often returns without forcing it.
- Consult your gynecologist. Vaginal estrogens relieve dryness and pain during intercourse, and in some cases, hormone therapy can be an option. Always with professional guidance and assessing your case.
- Be careful with miracle solutions. Supplements with maca, ginseng, or damiana can serve as support for some people, but the evidence is limited. Better with judgment and advice.
- Move consistently. Regular exercise improves circulation, energy, and your relationship with your own body. It is not about pushing yourself to the limit, but about moving.
- Eat a balanced diet. A varied diet, with healthy fats, supports overall health and also sexual response.
- Slow down. Chronic stress raises cortisol, one of the great enemies of desire. Conscious breathing, yoga, or simply stopping are not a luxury: they are the foundation.
- Do not go through it alone. Sex therapy or psychological support helps you understand what is happening. Combining medical care and emotional support is usually the most effective.
Among us
Everything is still the same, but it is not the same. We talk about it often when we are together: the changes, the transformations… You haven't changed your lifestyle, nor your diet, nor exercise, nor your environment, nor your people, but yes, you have changed. Of course, we have beaten time: we live longer and feel active in maturity. But desire changes little by little, and you keep expecting the same from yourself. And if you have a partner, you both keep expecting the same from each other. That is the hardest part. Accepting that the desire of your 20s is not the desire of your 50s requires acceptance, communication, and understanding. Even so, many women tell me they wouldn't go back for anything. Perhaps for the freshness, yes, but we compensate for that with experience.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to have less sexual desire during perimenopause?
Yes, it is very common. The drop in estrogen and progesterone affects energy, rest, and lubrication, and desire becomes more irregular.
How can I increase libido naturally?
Taking care of rest, moving regularly, reducing stress, and addressing any physical discomfort are the steps with the most impact.
Does vaginal dryness affect desire?
A lot. If sex is uncomfortable or painful, the body tends to avoid it. A proper lubricant and a vaginal moisturizer usually help restore desire.
Does hormone therapy increase libido?
It can help in some cases, especially if there is physical discomfort due to the drop in estrogen. It should always be assessed by a professional.
Do maca or ginseng work for sexual desire?
Some people notice improvement, but the scientific evidence is limited. They can be support, not a solution.
Can stress take away sexual desire?
Yes. Chronic stress raises cortisol and keeps the body on alert, making it difficult to relax and enjoy.
Who should I consult if I have lost sexual desire?
Your gynecologist to assess the physical and hormonal part, and a sexologist or psychologist if emotional or relationship factors are involved.
If desire has changed for both of you, rediscovering it can also be a two-person job: Stimulant Volaré.
