Urinary incontinence in women is the involuntary loss of urine, and when it occurs during sexual intercourse—during penetration or orgasm—it can affect desire, confidence, and how intimacy is experienced. It is more common than people talk about, especially from perimenopause onward, and there are ways to treat it. At La Maleta Roja, it is one of the topics that almost always comes up in the talks as soon as a safe space is created.
It is not an age-related consequence that must be accepted in silence. It can have different causes, and there are ways to address it.
A topic that has been kept secret
For a long time, incontinence was treated as something intimate, almost shameful, that was not discussed with a partner or in the doctor's office. Today, more and more women are sharing it, and that makes a big difference: when it is no longer hidden, it can be discussed with a professional and help can be sought so that it does not affect sexual life.
Why it occurs during sex
The pelvic floor, the muscles that support the pelvic organs, plays a role in bladder control. With childbirth, the hormonal changes of menopause, and the passing of the years, those muscles and the tissues in the area can change. There are two common situations:
- Losses during penetration: may be related to pressure on the bladder and to stress incontinence, the same type that occurs when coughing, laughing, or jumping.
- Losses during orgasm: may be related to orgasm contractions and to urge incontinence or an overactive bladder.
This is compounded by the emotional component. Fear of an accident, of odor, or of not being able to relax can cause the body to tense up, desire to decrease, and the encounter to become a moment of control rather than enjoyment. Many women who have never had an accident in bed also live with that threat, and it can be very limiting.
Practical tips
- Consult a professional. Your gynecologist or a pelvic floor physical therapist can help you identify what is happening and guide you on treatment options.
- Work on your pelvic floor. Exercises can help in some cases if they are properly recommended. Before using Chinese balls or pelvic exercisers, check whether they are right for you.
- Empty your bladder before the encounter. A simple step that can give you more peace of mind, although it does not replace a professional assessment if the losses continue.
- Choose positions with less pressure on the bladder. Those that allow you to control the pace and depth, or being on your side, may be more comfortable.
- Prepare the space. Having a towel at hand can reduce tension: if something happens, it is no big deal.
- Talk to your partner. Sharing it can be much more liberating than hiding it, and complicity helps reduce anxiety.
- Take care of the area if there is dryness. During menopause, a vaginal moisturizer and lubricant can improve comfort; if the discomfort persists, consult a professional.
Among us
In our talks, there is usually a bit of everything: excitement, laughter, questions, confidences… But when we start talking about the pelvic floor, everyone almost always falls silent and pays attention. Somehow, all of us, regardless of age, identify with it, whether because of current problems or those that may arise. There is always someone who loudly proclaims that they pee themselves with every sneeze, but many are still embarrassed by the topic. That is changing, however, because the pelvic floor is becoming more and more present in the conversation.
The good thing about these meetings is the feminine energy that is created and that reminds us that our problems and fears are, in fact, universal. Listening and feeling heard greatly eases the burden, especially if you do not have a specialist or physical therapist supporting you. And we always insist: a pelvic floor physical therapist today means freedom tomorrow.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to lose urine during sexual intercourse?
It is common, but it is not something that should simply be accepted. It can have different causes, so it is worth discussing with a professional.
Why do I leak urine during orgasm?
It may be related to orgasm contractions and, in some cases, to urge incontinence. A professional can help you identify the cause.
Does menopause make urinary incontinence worse?
It can have an impact: hormonal changes affect the tissues of the vagina and urethra, although they are not the only possible cause.
Do pelvic floor exercises help with incontinence?
They can help with some types of incontinence if done properly. Find out which exercises are appropriate for your case.
Are Chinese balls useful for incontinence?
They are not suitable for everyone or a substitute for a professional assessment. A pelvic floor physical therapist can tell you if they are right for you.
How can I prevent urine leaks during sex?
Some measures, such as emptying your bladder beforehand or trying more comfortable positions, can help, but if the leaks continue, it is best to consult a professional to find out the cause.
Who should I consult if I have urinary incontinence?
A healthcare professional, such as your gynecologist, or a pelvic floor physical therapist, who can guide you based on your case.
If you want to know about the Trio Kegel set, check with a professional first whether pelvic exercisers are right for you.
